Why Her?While Sanaki struggles with not actually being the apostle, she also has to come to terms with the fact that some girl from Daein was able to sing the galdr of release when she could not. Only direct descendants of Altina should be able to sing it, so why could Micaiah? The idea of it seemed to really irritate her. When Sigrun insisted that Sanaki not fight on the battlefield, Sanaki replies, "if Micaiah, an untrained girl from the streets of Daein, is fighting, then I shall stand my ground as well." Right away we can see that Sanaki is comparing herself to Micaiah. Sanaki couldn't sing the galdr like Micaiah could, but she most certainly was not going to sit back and let others do the fighting if Micaiah could handle herself on the battlefield.
Sanaki desperately wishes to ask Micaiah questions, but when she tries, she finds that Micaiah has been "blessed" with various abilities. She can hear the voice of Yune, feel impending danger and sense the flow of thoughts of others. Not only could Micaiah let Yune speak through her, this goddess was saying Ashera was nothing like the teachings she received in Begnion and believed in. She was supposed to be the voice of a goddess that did not care for people at all? Sigrun comments that the two of them are similar because of their abilities and age and that they should be able to be great friends. Sanaki, however, does not agree. She knows that she can't do anything that Micaiah can. Sanaki ends up changing her mind and heading back instead of talking to her when sees this. I'm sure Micaiah's existence simply reminds Sanaki of what she is supposed to have but lacks. She hasn't been blessed by the goddess in any way, nor can she hear Ashera. Sanaki is afraid of the truth. Avoiding Micaiah is a defense mechanism for her. If Micaiah could provide justification for her abilities and confirmed that Sanaki was not the true apostle, she would be devastated. Running away from Micaiah was the same as hiding from the truth.
When Micaiah approaches Sanaki for the first time, she acts very awkward and unsure. If we could see facial expressions, I'm sure Sanaki would have avoided eye contact with her. Micaiah states that she knows Sanaki doesn't like her. I would imagine that Sanaki probably avoided talking to her or just being in her presence because of the awful feelings she felt around her. It would not surprise me if Sanaki strongly identified with the words "fraud" and "fake" while being around Micaiah. She was the real thing, unlike Sanaki. Either way, she had to have been acting strange for Micaiah to assume that Sanaki wasn't fond of her. That was not the truth, however, as Sanaki doesn't have any real problems with her as a person. Micaiah just makes her feel extremely inadequate. Lost in the struggle for who she is and what she should do next, her jealousy and loss of self-confidence got mixed in with her feelings for Micaiah.
Unable to run away anymore, Sanaki asks Yune why Micaiah could sing the galdr but she couldn't. She is surprised to find out that Yune didn't know the answer to her question. Micaiah was simply born with her powers, she wasn't blessed with them. Sanaki seems to get annoyed, demanding to know why a goddess wasn't perfect and didn't know everything. She had finally put herself out there to learn the truth but ended up no further than she already was. I don't blame her for being frustrated. I think learning that Micaiah was not specifically "blessed" by the goddess made Sanaki feel a little better in a strange way. Once Micaiah returns to the surface instead of Yune, Sanaki seems calmer. She simply wonders what Ashera is like after speaking with Yune, as if no emotion is attached to her voice.
In the end, Sanaki realizes that her sister was never assassinated. Micaiah was indeed her elder sister. All the pieces fit together. She had to have been a direct descendant of Altina in order to sing the galdr of release and she could hear the goddess' voice and pass judgment. I thought it was interesting to see Sanaki's change from her usual behavior in her parting with Micaiah. She wanted Micaiah to stay in Begnion with her and was saddened when Micaiah declined. Sanaki wanted her to fill her position as the true apostle and stay with her. When Micaiah says that naturally they will see each other often because their countries will become allies, Sanaki immediately brightens and says, "I will! Of course! Once things settle down in both of our countries, that will be the first thing I do... Sister!" For a split second, she seemed like an excited little kid. I feel as though Sanaki is truly thankful that Micaiah can do the things she does and greatly admires her. She no longer had to compare herself to her because she realized they had different roles to fill. With her new self-confidence and acknowledging that Micaiah was her sister, Sanaki could accept that Micaiah was the true apostle.